“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver”
(Proverbs 25:11).

I met a young girl recently who seemed to have a lot going for her, but consistently failed in many areas of her life. I could not understand why – she seemed to choose failure over a successful, happy life. She was beautiful, talented and intelligent, but it was obvious that she did not esteem herself. And she continually made bad choices.

For months I could not understand why she did not see her true value as a person – until I met her mother. Her mother saw her as the biggest failure ever born and told her so. She would vomit out her many objections about her daughter to anyone who would listen to her. With her daughter present she would declare to a roomful of people what a failure she was. It did not take great discernment to see why the girl struggled so. Why should she like herself when the woman who gave birth to her did not see any good in her own child?

As soon as she was old enough, this young girl informed me that she ran away from her mother and began living with an older man. Unfortunately, her life was poisoned by the many seeds of destruction and self-hatred her mother had been planting in her since birth.

I believe this is what Proverbs 14:1 is talking about when it says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” The girl’s mother’s physical house was in excellent condition, but the heritage she passed down to her child was devastating and led to her daughter living a very destructive lifestyle.

I have counseled with many young men and young women over recent years who have struggled with terrible feelings of self-hatred. Usually, in the course of speaking with them, I discover that these feelings began when they were a child and many times originated with words spoken over them by a parent or other people in authority in their life.

From this I learned that words are very powerful, especially when they are spoken by someone in authority over you. They can either be words of praise that breathe life into your life or words of criticism and judgment that erode away your sense of well being. “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21).   The tongue is a power so great that it is capable of producing life or death depending on how it’s used.

The Bible tells us that our words are so powerful that they can bless or curse, encourage or discourage, hurt or heal, tear down or build up. Our words can even influence the way we act and feel as well as determine our attitude and outlook on life. That’s right, this powerful weapon is the tongue and its ammunition is the words we speak.

The words of our mouth have control over our lives, whether we like it or not, or whether we believe it or not. What comes out of our mouth will determine our future.

The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about our mouths. They are, after all, the keys to life. However, what comes out of our mouths is the result of what we have put in our hearts. Proverbs 21:23 says, “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.”

The words we speak reveal a lot about us-our attitudes, beliefs, feelings, and expectations.  Our words not only communicate what we want others to hear, but they have the power to influence and make a real impact on people and situations.  I noticed that when positive Christians come together, they tend to have positive desires, take positive actions and produce positive results. Positive people encourage and support one another. Negative people, on the other hand, will do just the opposite. They tend to have negative thinking, take negative actions and produce negative results.

This month, I want to encourage you to speak well of others, especially to your children.   Whereas words spoken out of frustration or anger can hurt a person’s self-esteem; words of affection, praise, encouragement and affirmation with positive guidance will nurture a person’s inner sense of worth and security.

Be careful what you put in your mouth.  Be careful what you speak out of your mouth. Mathew 12:34 says, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” When you speak what’s in your heart you release it into your life or someone else’s life.  Remember, a man’s level of success is set by his tongue (Proverbs 13:2).

Be blessed in Jesus Name,
Barbara